My Attractivess Knows No Bounds

Translated by rsa16
Edited by air koi

Read the PDF version —> HERE

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

“Y’know, Yamato-kun, I’ve been thinking… you never actually try to show how much you love me, do you?” Yuzu suddenly muttered as we were conducting our usual sneak-in to the literature club room.

Her hair—which reached down to her shoulders—was dyed lightly, though only so she could avoid getting in trouble with the teachers. She had big, bright, double-lidded eyes that made her appear somewhat childlike. To say that she was beautiful would have been an understatement.

And I, due to certain circumstances, was currently dating her.

Well… not quite. The thing was—

“There isn't any reason to. It’s not like we’re actually dating.”

—we weren’t actually dating, as I had just replied to Yuzu. We were just a fake couple. I ignored Yuzu’s usual antics and returned my attention to the game in front of me.

“Whaaat—? I know I love you tons, but please don't say something that lonely~” Yuzu, who had been sitting next to me, kept repeatedly poking my side as if she was asking for attention. How annoying. If I actually took any of the stuff she said seriously, I wouldn’t have been able to continue being her (fake) boyfriend.

“Plus, Yamato-kun, spending time alone with such a beautiful girl like me must’ve made you notice my charm at some point, right? You should really just be honest about how you feel. Oh, and if you’re worried I’ll reject you, don’t be—I’d be super happy, y’know?”

Her face might have been ridiculously beautiful, but she had one fatal flaw—being incredibly narcissistic. And if I left it alone, she tended to just get increasingly more annoying with no end in sight. That's just how Yuzu was.

“This is the most straightforward I’ve ever been. What more do you want from me?”

“Hmm… Then, how about you tell me your favorite things about me, one by one?"

After a moment’s thought, I nodded my head, considering that to be a reasonable compromise. As long as I listed a few strengths and complimented her on them, Yuzu would probably be satisfied.

“I guess I don’t have much of a choice then… well, alright,” I replied, pausing the video game. Her face lit up immediately.

“Nice, nice! You’ve finally come around, huh? Well then, let’s do this! We finally get a glimpse of ‘Things Yamato Likes About Yuzu-chan,’ starting from the 100th place!”

“100th?! Hold on a sec, that’s a whole digit more than the number I had in mind!”

“I mean, what can I say? With my amazing intelligence, outstanding athletic ability, flawless appearance, and superb social skills—you’ve got plenty of headroom! If you really love me, it’ll be easy for you to name a hundred things!”

“You approval-seeking monster! I can’t come up with that much!”

Yuzu let out a deep sigh and shrugged her shoulders. “Haah… Honestly, it’s sad to hear that you can’t even sincerely compliment someone. That’s why you still don’t have a single friend in class, and everyone keeps saying you’re socially awkward, introverted, gloomy, a loner, and bad at taking girls on dates.”

“Did I really do something so bad to deserve all that…? And I’m pretty sure one of those is just your personal opinion.” Don’t mix in your own personal grievances with everyone else’s opinions. And anyways, she was just as bad at going on dates as I was. “By the way, could you even name a hundred good things about me?” I retorted.

She tilted her head in confusion. “Huh? Of course I can’t. You’re not someone who even has a hundred good things to begin with.”

“Sadly, I can’t even deny that! That was a terrible comeback!”

“Right? Even I, who loves you more than anyone in the world, can maybe come up with only two or three at most.”

“Seriously, how on Earth do you manage to love that person the most in the world?! How did you even develop that kind of love to begin with?”

“Oh, you wanna know? Then, I present: ‘Top Reasons Why I Love Yamato-kun' ranking! Coming in at third place, ‘Harmless, does no good nor bad.’”

“Third place for that? That seriously got me a bronze medal? If you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel that hard, just how shallow are my strengths?!”

“In second place: ‘Doesn’t require me to put in any effort to be considerate. Basically, harmless.’”

“Isn’t that just the same thing as the third place one?! Did you really just manipulate the rankings right in front of me?” Wait, doesn't that mean I only have two strengths now? What kind of person am I?

“And now, the highly acclaimed rank of first place goes to… ‘having an incredibly cute girlfriend!’”

“In the end, you just went back to praising yourself…! And since you ranked that first, now my only recognized quality is that my strengths come from being harmless, damn it!” At this point, I’m basically the same as a scarecrow standing in a field. Wait, no, a scarecrow can at least scare the crows off. They're actually pretty amazing.

“Well? Have you understood why I love you?”

“The mystery only grows deeper…”

In the end, I learned next to nothing, other than the fact that Yuzu loves herself. Somehow, I felt like I just wasted an incredible amount of time. Enveloped in a mysterious sense of futility, I let out a deep sigh and tried to return my attention to the video game.

“Now, now~ Don’t get so upset.” At that moment, she must have had some kind of thought, smiling contentedly as she leaned against my shoulder.

“…What do you want?” I asked, feeling slightly embarrassed. I averted my gaze from Yuzu’s face, which was right beside me.

She looked up at me from an almost point-blank range. 

“This is how I have the most fun—just talking about random things like this together with you. That’s my No. 1 favorite thing about you, Yamato-kun. Is that… no good?”

The words thrown at me so unexpectedly made my heart skip a beat. 

“I-it’s not that it’s bad, but…” 

—The warmth of Yuzu’s gentle touch on my shoulder, accompanied by a faintly sweet fragrance.

—After school in the literature club room. 

—No one else would come; just the two of us in this space. 

Come to think of it, I hadn't mentioned a single thing that I like about her. 

I should probably say at least one thing back in return. 

After taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth.

“Um, I—”

“Ah! Actually, being able to say something this clever might just make me No. 1! Seriously, my attractiveness really knows no bounds…!”

“You just ruined the whole mood!” Suddenly feeling drained of energy, I stopped paying attention to Yuzu and resumed playing video games. 

So, just how on Earth did I end up dating this unrivaled narcissist? Let me tell you about how all of this went down in the first place…