The Essence of Depravity

Translated by rsa16

Read the PDF version —> HERE

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

Saturday—the day after I’d walked home with Makura.

I ate lunch at home before heading over to her apartment.

As soon as I pressed on her intercom, a sudden flurry of hurried sounds erupted from inside. Not before long, I heard the click of a lock, and the door slowly creaked open.

“Yoo-hoo! Mornin’!” Makura peeked her face through the crack, slightly out of breath.

“Morning… except it’s almost noon. You just woke up^[1]?”

“Rude. I’ve been completely awake, thank you very much!” she huffed. “My room was just a little messy, so I had to do a speed clean. Sorry, sorry!”

She slid the door open fully, and I stepped into the entryway^[2].

Standing in the hallway was today's version of Makura—black-and-white striped pajamas, made of a soft, towel-like fabric. The set included a cozy hooded zip-up and matching hot pants. Her pale, slender legs stretched out in full view.

My eyes—unconsciously—dropped to her outfit. Just for a moment. Of course, Makura caught my gaze.

“Hehe! The pajama life is still going strong!” She grinned proudly, puffing out her chest.

Apparently, Makura hadn’t let go of the “pajama lifestyle” that she started over summer break. She even showed up to school in her gym uniform because it felt more ‘pajama-adjacent,’ as she put it. It might’ve seemed a little over the top—but it was something she did on her own terms, so I wanted to support her for it.

Still… seeing her back in actual pajamas for the first time in a while—I mean, I’d definitely never say this out loud, but honestly…

—She looked really cute.

I swear, no matter what she wore, everything somehow always fit her. Today’s outfit was a bit more revealing than usual though, so… being this close still made my heart race a little.

“Mind if I come in?”

“‘Course not! Go ahead, go ahead!” She gestured me in.

I slipped off my shoes and walked into the hallway. Normally her room was pretty tidy, so I expected it to be as much, but—

Clothes strewn across the floor, from summer shirts to fall coats. A big teddy bear slumped over, next to a pile of boxes. A picture frame with a famous theme park logo. A few random notebooks. And even… a frying pan?

“A little messy” was not the phrase I’d use to describe the warzone I walked into. Hell, you could’ve told me a storm had blown through.

“You doing some spring cleaning or something?” I asked.

Makura scratched her cheek, giving me a sheepish grin. “Nahhh. I was putting up old clothes and stuff I didn’t need any more on a flea market app. I was gonna have the place clean before you got here, but I kind of… exploded everything while sorting. I did make sure to clear a space for us to sit, though!”

“A flea market app? Never used one. You actually make sales on there?”

“Yup! Just started last week and already got some cash rolling in! I mean, if you’re gonna live the indoor life forever, you’ve gotta find some way to make money without leaving the house, right?”

She giggled. “Though I’m not selling my pajamas, okay?” she added playfully.

“I see. Sounds like you’re really making it work.”

“Totally! My goal is to be a NEET with civil servant-level stability!”

“That’s… wow. You’re aiming for elite-tier NEET status.”

“Ahaha! I wanna be the king of the NEETs!”

We eased into our usual spot: the floor in front of her bed. It felt… familiar. Comfortable.

“Hm? What’s that?”

My eyes caught on to a translucent plastic bag sitting next to the TV stand. It was about the size of a garbage bag, stuffed full of colorful fabrics.

“Oh, that?” she said, casually. “Costumes from my idol days. I found a whole bunch in the back of the closet.”

“Huh. Gonna sell those too?”

“Nope, nope. If I put those up, people would definitely know that I’m Kamakura Koyuna.”

“Ah, yeah… that’d be bad.”

A true^[3] idol fan could ID a costume like that in a heartbeat. They wouldn’t need more than a glance; one look and they’d instantly know. If word got out that she—the once-famous idol who suddenly disappeared—was selling her old outfits online, I don’t doubt it making headlines all over again.

“But still… I just can’t bring myself to toss them.”

She shifted, lifting her hips a little to reach for the bag, and pulled it close. Her fingers sank into the bundle, and she carefully drew out one of the outfits.

It was a one-piece dress—a white and pale-blue base, with a defined, narrow waist and a skirt that flared out in a perfect puff. Delicate lace frilled along the bust, and a soft satin ribbon crossed the middle.

Makura knelt upright and held the outfit up to her body, showing it in front of herself.

“S-So? What do you think?” she asked, her face slightly red.

“Whoa… I think it looks great on you.”

“Really? Ahaha—geez, this is kinda embarrassing.”

Her cheeks instantly flushed, even though she was the one who had brought it out in the first place. Gently, she lowered the dress from her chest and began folding it neatly in her lap.

I’d seen her in gym clothes, pajamas, even stuff with less coverage before… but this felt like a different kind of vulnerability.

“That was one of your regular stage outfits, right?”

“Yup. It was. But, you know…” She averted her gaze, fidgeting with the hem as she spoke, “this is the first time a guy’s seen me like this, so it’s kinda…”

“R-Right…”

I didn’t really get how that would make her embarrassed—but just the way she said it, the way she looked… it was enough to get me flustered too.

Her first time, huh...

My eyes wandered back to the carefully folded outfit in her hands, drawn in by it all over again.

“And besides… I’m not an idol anymore. So technically, wearing this is just cosplay.”

“Ah—yeah, I guess you’re right. …Hmm, is that why you’re so embarrassed?” I tilted my head.

“I mean, it’s kinda like when a girl tries on a school uniform after graduating high school. It makes you feel… fidgety. Weirdly awkward, y’know? Satomi-chan would probably get what I mean.”

“So Sensei's into schoolgirl cosplay, huh...”

“Ah—crap. Wait, was that supposed to be a secret…? I-I mean, it was like, you know, back in the day—her boyfriend asked her to try it once or something? It’s not a hobby or anything!”

“You know, the more you talk, the more incriminating it sounds…”

…Sorry, Kumada-sensei. I’m afraid a deeply unfortunate secret just got leaked without your knowledge.

Makura let out a few awkward coughs, like she was trying to physically clear the moment from the air. “A-Anyway! Games. Yes, let’s play a game! You’re up for one, right? What do you feel like? A 1v1? RPG?” she asked, gently tucking away the folded idol costume back into the bag.

“Sure, I’m down. What kind of 1v1 games do you have?”

A costume from a life she’d left behind. I’d heard there were some bitter memories tied to that time, too… and yet, she still couldn’t bring herself to throw it away.

Maybe—just maybe—there was a part of her that still held it dear.

I let the thought drift quietly through the back of my mind.

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

For the next three hours, we did nothing but play games.

Two players, one screen, and a party game full of minigames and coin-collecting madness.

Sure, Makura had the edge as the more experienced player. But the game was simple enough, and with a little beginner’s luck, I managed to keep up pretty well, if I do say so myself. We ended up playing neck to neck.

“Phew! Finally done!”

Makura let her controller drop to the floor and collapsed into her oh-so-cushy signature beanbag—an inescapable black hole of comfort clearly invented for the sole purpose of ruining lives.

The ending cutscene rolled on in the background.

“Dang it. I really thought I had that one…”

“Mwahaha. You’re a hundred years too early to beat me!” Makura exclaimed, flashing a smug grin. “Go eat your veggies, live a nice, long life, and then maybe you can try again.”

“You wanna rematch a century from now?!”

“Our next showdown’s gonna be in a nursing home.”

“More like a deathmatch in the afterlife… Let’s both make sure we build up good karma so we make it to heaven.”

Makura laughed, light and carefree.

“So, wanna switch it up? Try a different game?” I asked.

“Hmm… yeah, maybe. A real board game sounds fun too…”

Well, guess her body’s already fused with the cushion.

“…You look way too comfy.”

“This thing’s heavenly. My only regret as an idol is not landing a sponsorship with the company that makes these.”

“Kind of a stretch from singing and dancing, don’t you think?” I leaned against the bed.

…Haah.

I let out a sigh of quiet satisfaction.

This lazy, cozy atmosphere reminded me of summer break. Not that it had been all that long—it’d barely been a week since all that chaos ended. But with school now back in full swing, I was secretly really happy we could still find time to hang out together, like this.

“Time for a quick recharge,” Makura murmured, her voice soft and sleepy. Her voice perfectly matched the laidback atmosphere.

Then, after a small pause:

“Since we’re hanging out ‘til tonight, wanna sneak in a nap?”

“Sure. If you’re okay with it,” I responded.

“Of course, of course. Nothing screams freedom like a guilt-free afternoon nap.”

She propped herself up just high enough to grab her water bottle, taking a long, relaxed sip. I followed suit, sipping from the tea I’d brought.

“You can take the bed, Manamichi-kun,” she said, gesturing lazily. “I’ve officially fused with this beanbag.”

“You sure? Thanks.”

I plopped myself down on the bed.

Makura let herself sink back with a dramatic sigh, letting herself further become one with the cushion.

“Hehehe…. You know the beauty of being in pajamas? Instant nap mode. Pajama life is the best life.”

“You’ve got a point. It’s kinda hard to nap in regular clothes… But don’t blame me if you knock out and wake up at midnight.”

“Haha, well… if it happens, it happens. I’d probably still be happy, but—”

She cut off mid-sentence.

I glanced over. She’d lifted her head slightly, eyes fixed on me with a strangely serious look.

“Um… hey, Manamichi-kun…”

“Yeah?”

“I… uh… g-good… good night.”

“O-Oh. Uh, yeah. Good night.”

She’d looked like she was on the verge of saying something important. Her lips moved, but whatever it was got stuck on the way out. Instead, she just curled up and stayed quiet.

It sorta felt like she was gonna drop me a bombshell of some kind—but in the end, she’d shifted into sleep mode, and I didn’t push it.

If it was really important, she’d tell me after her nap.

“…Yaaawn.”

Letting my own drowsiness take over, I lay back on her bed and let the afternoon slowly fade into sleep.

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

I could hear Manamichi-kun’s soft, even breathing as he slept.

Careful not to wake him, I shifted just slightly, making sure not to make a sound.

—I wanted to say it.

But I just… couldn’t.

It was too embarrassing.

Manamichi-kun… I hope you don’t take it the wrong way…

We played games together again today—for the first time in a while. And it reminded me how much fun it really is, just the two of us.

But the truth is, there was something I wanted to ask you before the day ended.

Just a favor.

Only… given what we are to each other right now… it might’ve come off a little weird.

I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

So I kept it to myself.

Maybe someday—hopefully someday—I’ll get the chance again.

With that quiet hope tucked away gently in my heart, I closed my eyes.

Translator's Notes:

[1]: What he says literally translates “Good late morning. You were in a hurry to get up?” I localized it a bit to make it fit better in English, and it more or less has the same implied meaning. The first greeting is osoyou (おそよう) which is an informal greeting used to greet someone in the morning despite it not being quite morning.

[2]: Japanese have unique entranceways by the way, which I’m sure you likely already know if you’re reading light novels. They have a specific area meant for placing shoes (which is the word they refer to here, or the genkan, 玄関). It’s sort of a transition area into the main house, where they have a space for storing outdoor footwear, and it’s generally lower than the main floor of the house (as in, slightly sunken into the ground).

[3]: The word used in the JP here was the romanized version of “core idol fan” (コアなアイドルファン) . I localized it to “true idol fan” because that’s essentially what it means, but it has connotations of being part of like a fandom for that idol, which “true idol fan” doesn’t necessarily have, hence the TL note.