There’s Hardly Anyone As Perfect as Me in This World

Translated by rsa16
Edited by mysth
Special thanks to Crizy at Fungus for helping my dumbass with a crap ton of goofy ahh JP

Read the PDF version -> HERE

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

It’s been ten days since I became Yuzu’s boyfriend.

During that time, there hasn’t been any significant progress in the relationship between Kotani and Sakuraba. The people around us have started to get used to the fact that Yuzu and I are dating, so my daily life has been relatively peaceful so far.

That being said, my time after school was still forcibly spent with Yuzu, leaving me less time to play games—a serious problem. 

“That concludes homeroom. Stand up, at attention. Bow.”

As those thoughts absentmindedly wandered through my mind, the final homeroom of the day came to an end. Immediately, the classroom settled into a more relaxed atmosphere, typical of after-school hours. Some students headed to club activities, a few rushed to leave and get home as soon as possible, while some lingered around with their friends, lazily chatting away.

Not too long ago, I was also a member of the “go-home” club; in fact, normally, I would've already been on my way out. But now—things were different. 

Yuzu’s voice cut through my sea of thoughts.

“Yamato-kun,” she called out, finding me blankly staring at my desk in deep thought. She'd finished getting ready to leave. “Shall we go?”

Yup, that’s right. Now, I’m a normie who gets to go home with my cute girlfriend and go on dates with her after school.

…Even though it’s so completely fake that just saying it myself makes me feel empty inside.

“Yeah, let’s.”

Picking up my bag, I headed to the classroom entrance with Yuzu. As we did so, I felt a few gazes still piercing us, but I’ve gotten used to them by now. Ignoring them, we left the classroom and made our way towards the entrance.

On the way, Yuzu grabbed my sleeve and stopped me. "Oh, Yamato-kun. Wait a sec.” 

“What?” I tilted my head. 

Yuzu broke into a somewhat mischievous smile. “There’s a place I wanna go for a bit—can you come with me?”

“…Sure.”

Although I was feeling slightly apprehensive, there wasn’t really any reason for me to refuse, so I decided to follow Yuzu.

Then, she started walking towards the club building instead of the school entrance. Wondering if Yuzu was in a club, I followed her, and she stopped in front of a certain clubroom.

“Ta-da! We’ve arrived at our destination.” Yuzu proudly pointed at a room labeled “Literary Club.”

“The Literary Club…? The heck, Yuzu, you were in the Literary Club?”

“No, I’m not in it. I mean, the club’s been disbanded already.”

Having said that, however, Yuzu was somehow still in possession of a key; she used it to enter the clubroom. Although surprised, I followed her in. 

The room was a bit dusty. However, it was surprisingly well-equipped—complete with bookshelves, desks, pipe chairs, as well as an old television among its amenities.

“Why do you have the key to an abandoned clubroom?” I asked the obvious question hanging in the air.

Grinning triumphantly, Yuzu showed off the key. “Well, I have a few connections, y’know?”

That again, huh? I gotta hand it to you, normie-san—you've really got some pretty handy connections. But, what exactly did she bring me here for? 

“Apparently, this place used to be a well-known hangout spot among upperclassmen skipping class. Looks like one of the seniors who used to hang out here graduated with the key, so it kind of just naturally faded away from use,” Yuzu explained as she rummaged through the bookshelf.

“So, you got that key through your connections, huh?”

“Yup. I have a duplicate key too, so I’ll give that to you later and… Ah, here it is.” As Yuzu moved some books aside, a square box emerged from the inside of the bookshelf. 

No—on closer inspection, it wasn’t a box; it was a stationary game console. 

One that had been in widespread use before I was born. 

Truly, it was the game console of legend. With its dice–like body and extraordinary properties of durability—to the point where it could even withstand being dragged by a truck without breaking—it was thereby dubbed as the “Playable Weapon.” Back when that senpai was still a student, it was probably a popular model^[1].

“Wow… Who would’ve thought I’d come across something like this around here…?” 

As I trembled at this unexpected encounter, as if preparing to give a speech, Yuzu opened her mouth in a grandiose manner.

“You know, I’ve always been thinking. Since our relationship needs to stay secret, we really need a private place where we can talk without anyone overhearing. And also, it gets a bit annoying when you keep saying, ‘I wanna go home and play games’ every time we’re trying to have a conversation.”

“S’my bad.”

Despite the subtle complaint leaving me slightly irritated, I patiently continued listening to Yuzu’s… monologue?

“Now then. I looked for a place where we could both talk without being seen by anyone and you could have a full setup for playing games. And—this is it!” Yuzu proudly presented her achievement, her immense enthusiasm feeling as if it should be accompanied by some kind of sound effect.

I got the gist of the situation for now. She was right—having a place like this would be pretty useful. 

“So? How about it? I put a lot of effort into it. Praise me, praise me!”

“You have done very well.”

“That sounds kind of half-hearted, though.”

“I’m not good at praising people. I’m an introvert, you know.” 

Brushing off Yuzu’s disgruntled look, I started rummaging through the game software hidden in the back of the bookshelf. “Alright, there are several RPGs that I haven’t played before. Nice, senpai. You have great taste. I’m proud to have you as my senpai.”

“Hey, how come your praising skills are clearly better with him than with me?”

“What’s a ‘praising skill’?” 

Yuzu protested by poking my side. It was extremely annoying.

Escaping from her, I began connecting the game console to the old-fashioned CRT television sitting in the room. 

“Anyhow, since we have this place now, let’s proceed discussing the plan. What’s going on with Sakuraba and Kotani right now?” I asked.

“Hmm… I’m not really convinced yet, but, oh well.” 

Opening up a folding chair next to me, Yuzu sat down and started reporting the progress of their relationship. 

“So far, it feels like… nothing’s changed at all. I thought that maybe me getting a boyfriend might cause the people around me to start wanting one too, but nope, not even a little. I guess unless your friend’s boyfriend is attractive enough to make you think, ‘Wow, I’m jealous! I wish I had a boyfriend too!’ it doesn’t give you that same effect.”

“It's a little annoying to hear, but I guess that’s just how it is. We’ve only been dating for ten days too, so we basically have no kind of leverage in that stuff. Those two at least have normal conversations though, right?”

“Yeah. They talk normally as friends, but they don’t really say anything more personal. It’s kinda sad honestly.”

“It is. It’d be nice if we could transplant a bit of a certain someone’s shamelessness—you know, the girl who could just walk up and say stuff like ‘I don’t really feel like asking you this, but will you go out with me?’ to someone who’s never even properly talked to them before.” 

“The hell you say to me, bastard?”

As we engaged in our usual pointless banter, I finished setting up the game. The one I’m about to play is actually from a famous RPG series. I put on my headphones to prevent any sound from leaking outside the clubroom before booting it up.

“…Ugh. We’re still in the middle of our discussion, you know,” Yuzu protested with evident dissatisfaction as I quickly shifted the game mode.

“I’m listening carefully. So, what do you plan to do going forward?” I continued the conversation while looking at the TV screen, one earphone out to hear Yuzu’s voice. 

“For now, I think we should wait and see? After all, I'm pretty sure pressuring someone who isn’t mentally prepared wouldn't go very smoothly. What do you think, Yamato-kun?” 

“I agree. If Sakuraba’s really that interested in you, chances are his feelings are still conflicted. Having Kotani confess now would be meaningless, so let’s wait a bit longer.”

Not to mention, Yuzu’s boyfriend was me.

From the perspective of a guy as handsome as Sakuraba, I probably look like someone who he could easily steal Yuzu from if he tried hard enough. It’s likely that it’ll be some time before he can move on from those lingering feelings.

So, today’s meeting was over. Starting now, playtime.

“…Hey. Our discussion might be finished, but... we are here together and all, so… can't you pay a little attention to me?” Yuzu tugged at the hem of my clothes as I sat down on a folding chair next to her.

“Even if you ask me for attention, we don’t really have anything in common to talk about, do we?” The only topic we had—the matter of Kotani and Sakuraba—had already been settled. Honestly, there wasn’t anything else to talk about.

“True, but… Oh, I know. Then I’ll play that game with you!”

“Err…”

As I found myself grimacing, Yuzu frowned and poked me on the side. “Hey! Don’t make such an obviously sour face when your girlfriend’s trying hard to bond with you.”

 To be honest, I’m of the type who prefers to play games alone and take my time. I’m a guy who generally can’t have fun with others online. I don’t care about other people’s opinions; what matters is whether I find it interesting or not. 

While the game I was playing did technically support multiplayer during battles, fundamentally, RPGs were a genre designed for a single-player experience.

That being said, it seems that I'm starting to feel a certain sense of closeness with Yuzu—I couldn’t bring myself to completely push her away.

With a sigh, I set up another controller.

“Alright, alright. Here, I’ll help you out, so go ahead and give it a try.”

“Yay! It’s okay if you’re impressed by my perfect girlfriend-move of understanding your boyfriend’s hobbies and getting into them yourself, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m happy I have such a perfect girlfriend,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.

Shifting the folding chair a little closer to Yuzu, I handed her a side of the earphones. It is a little cramped with each of us wearing one side of a single pair, but well, it can’t be helped.

“Um, so the boy in the red clothes is the protagonist?”

“Yeah, that’s the one you control. I’m the one in blue over here.”

Yuzu controlled the dual-wielding guy in red while I controlled the boy in blue, fighting with a kendama. The game’s story progressed with our three-person party, including a heroine in white. 

Being a beginner, Yuzu’s gameplay was extremely clumsy. If not for my help, I couldn’t even imagine how many times she would’ve died.

“Whoa, that was close! Huh? Oh, this is your magic, Yamato-kun? Geez…”

Still, Yuzu seemed to be enjoying herself, always reacting newly surprised when something different happened. An RPG isn't a game where you compete with others. What matters most is how much you, yourself, enjoy it. So, without urging, I focused on supporting her and helping out with her adventure. 

Before we knew it, the final school bell rang out, signaling the end of the day.

“It’s already time to wrap up, huh. Guess I’ll save the game.”

“Ugh… But I need to finish destroying this cruel human farm.”

It seemed that Yuzu had enjoyed herself quite a bit, her thoughts still lingering in the game world. 

“Why not just continue tomorrow?” I managed a wry expression on my face as I reassured her, understanding her feelings all too well.

Although Yuzu still seemed a bit reluctant, she let out a sigh and appeared to switch her mood, sporting a refreshed smile.

“Well, I guess. We found something fun to do together, after all. It’ll be more fun if we play little by little each day, won’t it?”

Indeed. That’s just another charm of RPGs.

After locking up the clubroom, we quietly left the school to avoid being seen by any teachers.

“Well, see you tomorrow, Yamato-kun.” Yuzu waved her hand lightly as if to say goodbye. 

However, the sun had completely set, and I felt a bit uneasy letting a girl walk back alone this late.

“Want me to walk you home?” I offered. 

Yuzu seemed surprised by my words, falling silent with a puzzled expression on her face.

The silence was rather awkward.

“…What’s wrong?” I asked.

Yuzu looked at me with a teasing, upward glance. 

“Oh? Yamato-kun, do you perhaps want to spend more time with me?”

For a moment, I reflexively wanted to deny it, but that wouldn’t have moved the conversation forward. Since Yuzu had adjusted to my interests today, I should show her that I’m willing to compromise as well.

“Well, yeah.”

“Heuh?” Yuzu let out a strange noise. 

Then, averting her gaze, she murmured something inarticulate as she fidgeted nervously. “Uh… ahh, yeah. I see.”

Seeing this, I gave her a thoughtful nod, sensing why she might be reacting that way.

“Could it be that… you’re embarrassed?”

“Why’d you have to put it into words?!” Yuzu, seemingly caught off guard, glared at me with a flushed face. 

Apparently, I’d hit right on the mark. Though, her unexpected shyness left me a little dumbfounded.

“Weren’t you supposed to be popular? You lack tolerance for guys.”

“I’m used to hearing that kinda’ stuff from popular guys, you know? But, they usually say it jokingly, like they’re already prepared to be rejected… you know, in a way where it isn't going to hurt too much for them in case things end up not working out. But Yamato-kun, you’re really not that type of person at all—I was totally caught off guard.” Yuzu repeatedly took several deep breaths, as if trying to calm herself. 

Seeing her so shaken made me feel a bit guilty. “Sorry. I just thought I’d walk you home since it’s late.”

“Well, you should’ve said so from the start. It’s a nice gesture, but now I feel like I lost somehow. Geez.”

Yuzu tried to look angry, but her ears were still red, completely betraying the front she put on. 

She’s such a narcissist, yet she has zero defense against embarrassment. Or perhaps, it’s precisely because she lacks defense that she acts all self-centered to cover it up.

Thinking about it that way, Yuzu's actually pretty cute.

“…What’s with that warm gaze?” 

As I found myself smiling at Yuzu, she seemed to notice and shot me a sulky glare in return.

“Ah, I was just thinking how you’re the cutest in the world, Yuzu-chan. As expected of someone who praises herself about it so often.”

“I’m sensing an ulterior motive behind that!” Yuzu gave me a light smack on the shoulder. 

Her slightly frustrated demeanor stirred my desire to tease her, leaving me to immensely enjoy the walk home with her.

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

A few days had passed, and as expected—there was still no progress between Kotani and Sakuraba.

Maintaining their friendly distance, they continued to steadily waste time. Was this what one would call a period of endurance? The feeling of time ticking away without a single breakthrough, a phenomenon I often experienced back when I played basketball.

“Ugh… I can’t believe that guy betrayed us.”

In the literature club’s room, which had become their secret hideout, Yuzu hung her head over her hands while still holding the controller. 

While there had been no progress in our original goal of Kotani and Sakuraba’s relationship, at least the game was moving along smoothly. We were now somewhere around the middle of the storyline, and Yuzu’s favorite mercenary had just betrayed the party.

“A traitor in the party really gives you that ‘middle of the game’ feel, doesn’t it?”

On the other hand, being accustomed to RPGs, I had already vaguely predicted the betrayal, so it didn’t hit me too hard. 

“It’d be helpful if the relationship between those two could reach its midpoint soon too,” I said as I set the controller down, bringing up the topic as a way to take a break.

Yuzu, stretching and cracking her knuckles, joined in on the topic. 

“If things could move along that quickly, it wouldn’t be such a struggle. Well, it’s still frustrating for us, though.”

“But there’s still no progress… How about we change our approach altogether?” I proposed, coming up with an idea.

Yuzu tilted her head in curiosity. “Change our approach?” 

“The point is to resolve things so that you and Kotani don’t clash, right? So, instead of trying to force Sakuraba and Kotani together, why not just pair Kotani up with some other guy?” 

It was a reversed method of thinking.

Even for Kotani, confessing to a guy as handsome as Sakuraba takes a lot of courage and carries significant risks if it fails. However, if we can pair her up with someone more approachable and make her give up on Sakuraba, everything might fall into place.

“Well, that might be true in theory, but… do you have a specific guy in mind? Unless they’re someone really impressive, finding someone who can make her forget her feelings for Souta is gonna be pretty tough.”

“Alright… for now, I’ll put myself forward.”

“I just said it’s gonna be tough unless they’re someone really impressive! You look like a Level 1 character trying to challenge the Demon Lord!” Yuzu desperately tried to keep me from going as I bravely stepped forward in a hero-like manner.

“Who’s Level 1? Like you said when you confessed to me, my normie levels have gone up since I have a cute girlfriend now.”

“But if you ditch that girlfriend and run after another girl, those levels will just go down again!”

“What’s this? Yuzu, are you perhaps… jealous?” 

“If that’s what it sounded like, you’re gonna fail the next Japanese test!” 

Anyhow, leaving the jokes aside.

“Seriously though, what about someone like Namase?”

“Hmm….” Returning to the discussion at hand in a more serious manner, Yuzu had a complex expression on her face. “I don’t think he’s Aki’s type. Besides, Keigo already knows how Aki feels, so he probably doesn’t see her that way in the first place.”

I guess it’s gonna be pretty difficult then, huh… I know it was just off the top of my head, but looks like my idea was already full of holes anyways.

“So basically, keeping things as they are now is our best way forward. The day I get my hands on RoboBus is still such a long way off…”

“Quit sighing~! It just means you get to be your Yuzu-chan’s boyfriend even longer—shouldn’t you be happy about that?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m soooo happy. Like finding out dinner is sukiyaki kind of happy.” 

“That’s such a dumb comparison! You’re not really happy, are you?!”

At that moment, Yuzu’s phone vibrated, signaling a new message.

“Oh, speak of the devil. It’s Aki,” she said, waving the screen in my direction.

“What’s she want?”

“She asked if I wanted to do the math homework together. I can’t say no to this one. If she thinks I’m someone who neglects my friends because I’m busy with a guy, it defeats the whole purpose of all this. Sorry, but let’s call it a day for now.” 

Hearing Yuzu’s words, I couldn’t help but grimace.

“What’s wrong, Yamato-kun? Did you really wanna keep playing that game that badly?” Yuzu asked, seeming to notice my visible displeasure.

However, that wasn’t the reason I made that face. 

“Wait… there was math homework today?” I had completely forgotten. Actually, I’d been half asleep.

“Obviously.” Yuzu let out an exasperated sigh and shrugged her shoulders. “It wouldn’t be cool if my boyfriend had to do makeup for failing, so make sure you get it done, okay? Now, let’s call it a day.”

After making sure to drive that point home, she left me alone with those final words and promptly went home. Sighing under the weight of the unexpected assignment, I placed the game console away and left the clubroom.

“Doing it after I get home is gonna be too much of a pain… Maybe I’ll just finish it up at the library.”

Realizing that doing the homework at home would leave me too tempted to play games, I started walking towards the school library. 

The library was located on the third floor, directly above my classroom, so it was a bit of a walk from the club building. Succumbing to the sluggishness in my legs, I trudged along with heavy steps. As I was walking, I began to hear voices coming from my classroom.

“But still, to think that Nanamine’s dating Izumi… It’s still so hard to believe.”

My legs stopped moving.

“I know! I mean, I dunno who made the first move, but Izumi sure went for it. It’s pretty obvious they’re not a good match. You can tell, right? It’s just common sense.” 

“Yeah, no kidding. Ever since Nanamine started dating that guy, even her rep with the girls has gone down.” 

“Wow, seriously?”

“Seriously. They say she’s been pretty distant as of late, and well, her taste in guys is just awful.” 

“Yeah, with that loner, no surprise. I wish they’d just break up already. Then at least I’d have a shot too.”

“Nah, no chance for you.”

“Say what, you little shit?” Their laughter mixed in with their meaningless conversation.

Still hearing them, I began walking again. 

It was inevitable; Yuzu and I being spoken about in this manner was just part of the plan. After all, the point was to escape those looks of jealousy directed at her. And in order for her to do so, she had to deliberately lower her social status. 

“….”

Well, in any case… 

The sooner the issue with Kotani and Sakuraba is resolved, the shorter our time dating will be, and the less damage Yuzu will end up taking in the end.

Muttering to myself, I quickened my pace towards the library.

“Now then, what to do…” 

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

Entering the fast-food restaurant where they had planned to meet, Yuzu immediately spotted Aki. With slightly wavy, amber-colored hair paired with her strong, defined facial features, Aki’s appearance stood out even from a distance.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!” Yuzu called out. She approached Aki with a tray holding fries and a cola. Aki, who had already started on her homework, looked up. 

“Sorry about calling you so out of the blue.” 

“It’s fine! I wanted to hang out with you too!” Yuzu said, smiling as she sat down in front of Aki.

Pulling out her math notebook and textbook from her bag and spreading them across the table, Yuzu noticed that Aki seemed a bit fidgety.

“What’s up, Aki? Is there something you don’t understand?”

“Um, well… not really,” Aki replied. Though, her response was somewhat hesitant.

Aki was usually the type to express her opinions clearly. The only time she’d act this way was when certain other matters were involved. 

“Did you invite Souta too by any chance?” Yuzu asked, suddenly jumping to the heart of the matter.

Aki’s shoulders flinched slightly. Fidgeting with the tips of her hair nervously, she responded, “Yeah… Sort of. He said he’d come once his club finishes.”

Though it was only a small step, it seemed like she was trying to advance their relationship in her own way. 

“I see.” Smiling, Yuzu realized why Aki had called her here so suddenly. 

In short, Aki had invited her as a sort of buffer, as she herself was intimidated at the thought of meeting Souta one-on-one. 

…Well, in reality, Yuzu was more of a bomb than anything, single-handedly threatening to disrupt their relationship.

That said, Yuzu kept that fact to herself. 

“Yo, Aki, Yuzucchi!” Yuzu heard her name being called from behind.

Upon turning around, she saw Keigo and Souta approaching both of them together. Apparently, Souta had invited Keigo along. 

Yuzu noticed Aki let out a mixed sigh of both relief and disappointment.

“Yoo-hoo! Hey, you two.”

“Sorry we’re late. Did you guys start yet?” Responding casually, Souta took a seat next to Yuzu. The moment he did however, a subtle… extremely subtle, though palpable tension filled the air.

Though a seat was open next to both Yuzu and Aki, he deliberately chose to sit next to Yuzu. It was an insignificant matter, but considering Aki’s perspective, it was far from amusing to her. And for Yuzu, who knew that Souta liked her, it wasn’t exactly a good situation either. 

“But wow, you really saved me! Actually, I’ve been a little behind on math lately. I was hoping someone could help me.”

Keigo, who was sitting next to Aki, raised his hand. “Oh, then want me to teach you? I’m pretty good at math, ya know.”

Determined, he flashed Yuzu a thumbs up.

Yuzu nodded with a smile, relieved that he reacted as she expected him to. “Sure! Oh, but, it’s a little hard to see from over here… Hey, Aki, can you switch with me for a sec?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” 

Somehow, they managed to succeed in changing seats naturally. 

“Well, we’d better get started.” Without showing any reaction to the seat change—at least, on the surface—Souta opened his math notebook. 

“Okay, Yuzucchi. Can you tell what part you don’t understand?”

“Yeah, so… this part’s a bit...” 

Keigo was genuinely trying to teach her. Though it had been just an excuse to change seats, his high social skills made his teaching surprisingly effective, and she ended up learning a lot more than she expected to.

“How about it? Did you understand?”

“Yup. It was really easy to follow. Thanks, Keigo.” She gave him a bright smile.

“Haha, don’t mention it.” Keigo nodded without the slightest hint of embarrassment. “So, Yuzucchi—have you fallen for me? Wanna switch over from Izumi to team Keigo? I’m always up for it,” he said, jokingly conveying his affection.

In response, Yuzu shrugged. “Sorry, but I’m only for Yamato-kun,” she decisively turned him down.

 “Ouch… that hurts.” His shoulders slumped in defeat. “But hey, if things don’t work out, just let me know anytime—I’ll come running.”

Yuzu giggled at Keigo’s exaggeratedly dejected words. 

“I know it’s a little late, but I have to say, it’s pretty surprising that you’re dating Izumi,” Aki said as she raised her head from her textbook, apparently intrigued by their conversation. “So that kinda guy’s your type, huh?” 

“Haha… yeah, I surprised myself too. Somehow, I kind of just found myself falling for him.”

Seeing as how the conversation was heading in a favorable direction, Yuzu took the opportunity to brag a little. Showing how close she and Yamato were was important for both of their objectives.

“Yeah, I didn’t expect you to date Izumi either. You guys got close in the library, right?” 

Perhaps thinking it would be strange to stay silent, Souta joined the conversation as well, even though it was probably a topic he wasn’t too thrilled about. His face gave no hint of his inner thoughts, though. 

To be honest, even Yuzu—despite being quite perceptive about others’ emotions—hadn’t realized Souta had feelings for her until she overheard a conversation by chance. His poker face was impeccable.

“Yeah, something like that. As we kept talking, we just naturally clicked…and yeah.” she replied, aiming to keep it safe. 

But then, Keigo furrowed his brow. “Talking… What do you two even talk about when you’re alone? Izumi’s, like, super quiet. I tried talking to him, and we totally couldn’t keep the conversation going.”

The image of Yamato, face blank while rejecting Keigo’s attempts at small talk in a choppy manner, flashed through Yuzu’s mind. Unintentionally letting a wry smile on her face, she responded to the question.

“Oh, you know, we talk about our hobbies, stuff like that. Yamato-kun’s not actually that quiet—when it’s just us, he talks a lot.”

It was true. Despite calling himself an introvert, Yamato wasn’t shy or awkward—he could hold a perfectly normal conversation. As for why he was always quiet in class, that was simply because engaging in small talk with people he didn’t care for held no appeal to him. The reason Yuzu never tried to make Yamato join in on her time with her friends was because, whether it was in the classroom or at times like right now, she understood that it would be uncomfortable for him.

She knew if she forced it, that strangely pleasant dynamic the two of them currently shared would likely fall apart.

“Huh… so that’s why? It’s ‘cause he just hasn’t opened up to me? Even though half a year’s already gone by? I’m a little shocked.” Keigo exaggeratedly pressed his hand over his heart. Someone as friendly as Keigo probably couldn’t grasp Yamato’s need for space very well.

“Ahaha, don’t worry about it. Yamato-kun’s just that way with everyone. I feel like it’s kind of a waste, though.” 

Yes, it really was a waste.

First impressions and timing—if you don’t mess those up, you can usually make friends perfectly normally as long as your personality isn’t off-putting. Take, for instance, the first lunch break of the school year. Most people who share that meal end up staying friends. It’s a time where the most number of people share the same goal—wanting to make new friends—making it the easiest period of time to do so. 

Just putting yourself out there is usually enough to naturally lead to friendships. Yuzu’s friend group had also naturally fallen together during that phase, and they’d stayed close since then. Whether or not you know those make-or-break moments really changed how hard it was to make friends.

“He’s actually a really fun person if you get to talk to him. Still, it’s better for me if the competition’s lower, so I don’t really mind.”

Even a Major League player can’t hit a ball unless they step up to the plate first. Having a great personality is nothing without those make-or-break moments—if you miss the right time to make friends in the first place, you'll always find difficulty befriending people. Yuzu was the type of person who didn’t find the effort burdensome; in fact, she preferred people who made similar efforts. After all, it was essentially an endeavor to be liked by others.

People who genuinely invest in those efforts are undoubtedly more enjoyable to be around and cause less stress compared to those who do not. Yet, she couldn’t help but wonder why she was starting to enjoy being with Yamato, who showed no signs of making any effort at all.

“Anyways, Yamato has a kind of charm to him that others just don’t get. Just know that for now.”

“…I see.” Perhaps because of how well Yuzu had managed to express herself, Souta’s poker face wavered for just a moment. 

It was a harsh reality, but Yuzu couldn’t reciprocate Souta’s feelings. If she did, her relationship with Aki would crumble, and her friend group would similarly fall apart. 

Honestly, even being confessed to posed significant risks, so she wanted to avoid it as much as possible.

…Seriously, how did things even get so complicated? None of them were on bad terms; everyone enjoyed being together as a group of four, and they all cared for each other. So why were they on the verge of falling apart? When did the four of them start heading in different directions?

“…”

Still—Yuzu thought. If I can protect this place by doing my best, then that’s more than enough for me.

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

The following day, as we left the classroom together and headed to the literature club room, I decided to get straight to the point before we turned the game on.

“Hey, about Sakuraba and Kotani…”

Surprised, Yuzu looked over at me as she set up a folding chair. “Whoa. It’s rare for you to bring that up before even getting the game ready, Yamato-kun.”

I usually had a more RPG-first attitude when it came to our meetups, so her surprise was warranted. She was likely just thrown off by the change in pace. Although Yuzu tilted her head in surprise, she gently took a seat without interrupting me, ready to listen. 

Once I sat down across from her, I continued speaking. “Look, if things keep going as they are, I don’t think they’re gonna get anywhere. How about we give them a little push?” I suggested. 

However, Yuzu looked a little hesitant. 

“...Wait. Yesterday, you said that leaving things as they were was the best move. What’s with the sudden change?”

Expecting this question, I replied without changing my expression. “I thought it over afterward. If things drag on as they are for too long, their relationship might become too set in stone, and that might make it even harder for one of them to confess. I’d say it’s better to act now, before that happens.”

Although Yuzu still seemed a bit unconvinced, she thought it over in earnest. “Well… yeah, maybe it’s about time we did something. When we were doing homework together yesterday, Aki looked like she was waiting for a chance to do something. If we give her a nudge, it might push her to make a move.”

To my surprise, she readily agreed, leaving me feeling relieved at the same time. 

“Alright, so now the question is, how do we give them that nudge…”

As we proceeded to talk about the specifics of how, Yuzu’s face quickly turned sour. “Hmm… that’s the tricky part. Those two never really go anywhere one on one. Even when they hang out, there’s always a few others tagging along.”

“Then, let’s start with setting them up for a date,” I concluded.

Suddenly, Yuzu clapped her hands as if something had just come to her. “In that case, I have just the thing. Ta-da!” With a triumphant smile, she pulled a pair of amusement park tickets out of her bag. “Hehehe… The newspaper delivery guy dropped off a few of these along with some detergent the other day. So? Whaddya think? If we give them these, they’re bound to go on a date!”

“That might actually be the perfect excuse… but, there’s just one problem.” Seeing the blank look on Yuzu’s face, I pointed to myself. “If you have something that perfect for a date, there’d be no reason to give it to someone else instead of just asking your own boyfriend out.”

“Hmm…. Now that you mention it…” Yuzu groaned at the obvious weak point in her plan. “Well, what about if her boyfriend has a fear of Ferris wheels and breaks out in hives at the thought of going to an amusement park?”

Before almost getting branded with a character trope so weird you would've thought I was some kind of quirky idol (?), I promptly shut her proposal down^[2]. “Please don’t give me any weird character archetypes. I don’t have the confidence to survive through my school life with a bizarre backstory like that.”

“Hmm…. Then, what should we do….” Crossing her arms, Yuzu sat in silence for a while, deep in thought. Then, as if a lightbulb just went off in her head, her expression brightened.

“I got it! Then, what if we go on a date there first?”

“…Us?” I repeated. 

“Yeah!” Yuzu nodded confidently. “We’ll go to the amusement park together, show a few pictures to Aki, and then, tell her, ‘We still have an extra ticket, so why don’t you go with Souta? We’re good with going once.’ How about it? Isn't that pretty natural?”

“I see.” With that approach, it would indeed be easier for Kotani to accept the offer and take the hint. 

“Alright! Then it’s settled—we’ll go on another date this Sunday! On our last date, you scored a whopping…. ten out of a hundred points! This is your chance at redemption!” 

“It’s not like I have any obligation to entertain you, though…”

“You do! It’s a date, after all!” Yuzu stressed.

“…Well, I’ll give it a try.” With no reason to intentionally bore myself, I decided to amuse her.

Satisfied by my response, Yuzu nodded cheerfully. “Yup. I’m counting on you, okay? You are my wonderful boyfriend, after all.”

“Weren’t you the one who chose me as your boyfriend because I wasn’t anything to brag about…?”

Sighing at Yuzu’s usual contradictory words, I finally began setting up the game.

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

And so, the next Sunday arrived.

Unlike our first date, during which I was—embarrassingly enough—extremely nervous as I waited for her, I found myself much calmer this time around. I even made it to the meeting spot ahead of schedule, all while managing to keep my composure. I am a man of remarkable growth, if I do say so myself.

“Sorry for the wait!”

As I was looking at my phone, waiting for her, Yuzu quickly arrived. Perhaps because she knew we’d be walking around the park a lot today, she dressed in a far more comfortable outfit than she did on our last date, wearing a hoodie, shorts, and sneakers.

“Oh, you’re here earlier than expected.”

“Yeah, I guess,” I responded casually. 

Noticing Yuzu staring intently at me and understanding what she wanted, I reluctantly went along with her wishes. “…Your outfit today is very cute.”

“Alright, ten points for you!” Yuzu nodded in satisfaction.

“Oh, really? Well, that’s good to hear.” A little embarrassed, I started walking towards the station. 

As we stepped onto the platform, the express train slid in alongside us. We boarded the train, heading toward our destination. From here, it would be about a thirty-minute train ride to reach the amusement park. I figured I could just take it easy until then… but, of course, life just doesn’t work out that smoothly.

“It’s… getting kind of crowded, huh?” Standing next to me, Yuzu glanced around, looking uncomfortable. 

It wasn’t quite as bad as during rush hour, but since it was Sunday, there seemed to be a lot of people going out like us packed within the train, making the space on board surprisingly suffocating. Additionally, when we stopped at the next station, even more people boarded. 

“Kya!”

“Whoa!” 

As I was naturally pushed from behind, Yuzu and I ended up pressing tightly together. I tried to pull away, but with the swaying of the train and the pressure of other passengers on my back, I couldn’t move an inch.

We ended up turning into something like a sandwich, with Yuzu in the space between me and the door.

“…Ngh.”

“Ugh…”

For a moment, I ended up remembering the time I accidentally pushed her down in the classroom, and my heart slightly skipped a beat. Yuzu seemed to be thinking the same thing, stiffening as her eyes cast downward.

It was just going to be the two of us all day, so I really didn’t want us to start off so awkwardly right from the morning like this… And also, she smelled way too nice! Seriously! 

“And… up we go!” I thrusted my hands against the door, forcibly creating some space between Yuzu and me. 

Likely feeling calm because of it, she let out a relieved sigh. “Thanks. That’s another ten points for you.”

“I wouldn’t want your legs to give out on me again.”

“…Minus fifty.” Yuzu graded me harshly for my unnecessary comment.

Despite that small incident, after riding on the train for a while, we were able to reach our destination safely. Perhaps because of  the cramped conditions on the train, once we stepped outside, we were instantly enveloped in a sense of freedom.

“Wow, it feels amazing outside! I feel like I just got out of prison!” Yuzu stretched out, expressing her joy at being freed from the train with her whole body.

“Alright, Yamato-kun. Let’s take a picture here first.”

“Sounds good.”

We weren’t really here just to have fun; the main focus of today’s date was to gather evidence on the fact that we went here to persuade Kotani. Therefore, this photo shoot was absolutely essential.

“Hmm, maybe around here?” Yuzu lined up right next to me and raised her phone to take a selfie. “Alright, here we go. How many bones are in each finger other than the thumb?”

“Huh? Three?^[3]”

Snap!

“Nice, got one.”

“Wouldn’t something like ‘what’s one plus two’ have been good enough?” Because of that bizarre camera cue, I was completely thrown off at the moment the photo was taken.

 “Hmm… Yamato, your face is super tense. Are you not used to taking selfies?”

“Obviously it wasn’t because of that!”

Frowning as if she wasn’t happy with how the photo turned out, Yuzu cocked her head in puzzlement, scrutinizing the screen. “Let’s see… part of it’s your expression, but somehow the whole vibe is just off. It’s just not giving that ‘we’re dating’ kind of feel.” 

“Maybe we could use the couples around us as reference?” I pointed at a nearby couple.

Like us, they were also taking photos—but unlike our fake-couple setup, they radiated a close and intimate aura that you could feel even from a distance. 

I compared the poses they were using with the one in the photo we had just taken. Then, I noticed a clear difference. 

“They’ve got their arms linked together, don’t they?” Yuzu quietly muttered, having noticed the same thing.

That’s right. Unlike us, all the couples surrounding us had no resistance to close contact. Affected by the sense of liberation that the amusement park exuded—arm-in-arm, cheek-to-cheek, pressed close together—they gushed about in a flirtatious vibe.

On the other hand, as for our photo…

“….We just barely fit in frame, keep as much distance as possible,  and we try to avoid being too close. This doesn’t look like a couple at all.”

Yuzu nodded in agreement with my opinion. “If I showed this to Aki, she’d just look at me suspiciously.” 

A moment of silence followed as we both stared intently at the finished photograph. 

Both of us knew what we needed to do; it was just a matter of gathering enough courage to go through with it. As we eyed each other, a tense atmosphere filled the air, watching us as we tried to figure out who’d make the first move.

“…Well, how about we just try getting a little closer for now?” I suggested with all my courage, thinking it might be difficult for a girl to bring up. 

If she had rejected me then, I probably would’ve been left heartbroken. Thankfully, however, Yuzu seemed to understand and quietly nodded. 

“J-just for a sec, okay? And just ‘cause we’re closer doesn’t mean I’m letting my guard down, got it?”

“I know that without you needing to tell me,” I said, ending up sounding a little blunt as I tried to mask my nervousness. 

After we took some time to gather up our resolve, we stared intently at each other. 

“H-here we go!”

“Y-yeah.”

Yuzu awkwardly intertwined her arm with mine, her movements akin to that of a rusty tin doll. 

—Rustle!

Naturally, Yuzu’s chest pressed up against my arm. And man were they soft! They were incredibly soft. And just as I had imagined, they were big too—I could feel my arm being enveloped by them. 

I didn’t have the courage to look at her, but she was probably aware of what was happening as well. After all, it was her own chest. However, as embarrassing and as dizzy as I felt, it didn’t mean I could freeze up here. 

Leaning my cheek as far towards Yuzu as I could, I forced a smile. 

“Finger bones.”

“Three.”

Snap!

Following the extremely abbreviated camera cue, the picture automatically finished being taken. We quickly stepped back from each other.

Silence.

Awkward. Extremely awkward.

Being on the verge of exploding from embarrassment and nervousness, I was at a loss for words. Or to be precise, I felt like whatever I’d say would be the wrong thing.

Then, after a brief moment of silence—

“Hey, come to think of it, I haven’t been to an amusement park in ages!”

“Really? Well, it’s not like you’d have many friends to go with, Yamato-kun!”

“Mind your own business!”

—We both decided to pretend the last few seconds of our memory didn’t happen. So we didn’t return to the mess of a state we were in earlier, we stepped into the amusement park with as much enthusiasm as we could muster. To any onlookers, we would’ve looked like an overly excited couple having the time of their lives; in that sense, the location helped. 

Once we entered the park and settled down a bit, we returned to our usual selves. 

“Okay, so I guess our goal for now is to get a photo at each attraction.”

“And I want one with the mascot too.”

Alright, let’s get those out of the way quickly.

As I looked around, I happened to catch sight of the park’s featured attraction—a roller coaster. 

“How about we start with that big, obvious one?”

“’Kay~” Yuzu lightly nodded. 

Then, we moved to a spot where the roller coaster was most visible. However, as soon as it was time to take the picture, a faint tension crept back between us.

“You know… we don’t really have to be in every picture together, do we?”

“Agreed.”

In a single instant, the two of us reached perfect harmony in our sentiments on the topic. It happened so smoothly that, for a moment, I almost thought I maybe actually had decent social skills. 

“Alright, I’m taking it!”

“Make sure I look cute, okay?”

“Relax, relax. You’ll still look cute no matter how I take it,” I said, dismissing Yuzu’s request in a slightly offhanded undertone. 

Borrowing her phone to take the picture, I pressed the shutter button.

Honestly, I wasn’t really used to taking photos of other people either. However, Yuzu seemed to have perfectly mastered the art of looking cute in photos, and my shots came out surprisingly well.

“Aight, we’re good.”

“Lemme see, lemme see!”

As soon as I handed her the phone back, Yuzu immediately started checking the pictures, seemingly concerned about how she looked. After looking over all the photos, she nodded in satisfaction. “Hmm. As expected, I’m cute in every single one.”

“Yeah, yeah. So, which attraction should we hit next?” Brushing off Yuzu’s nonsense, I started walking, looking for our next target.

However, Yuzu, looking annoyed, grabbed hold of me by the hem of my shirt, stopping me in my tracks. “Ugh, come on! Since we’re here, we might as well actually go on the rides! Actually, let’s just make it a rule to go on each ride we take a photo at. We are on a date.”

“Well, fine by me,” I agreed, thinking it’d be rude of me to spoil Yuzu’s fun.

—Little did I know, this was the beginning of my own personal hell.

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

And so, several minutes later—

On a bench tucked away in a corner of the amusement park, I sat slumped over, feeling like a deflated balloon.

 “Geeeez, you’re so pathetic. It was just a roller coaster.” Having just come back from the vending machine, Yuzu pressed a cold bottle of tea against my cheek with a sigh. “Here, drink up. I got you some tea.” 

Though I accepted the tea, I shot her a look of protest instead of thanks. 

“Listen… I don’t care who they are—most people who ride a roller coaster six times straight end up looking like this.” I never would have guessed Yuzu was that much of a thrill ride enthusiast. By the end of it all, fear wasn’t even a factor anymore—it was just straight-up nausea.

Seeing my glare, Yuzu offered a sheepish, apologetic grin.

"Heh. See, when I go out with other friends, I’m careful not to go overboard. But since today was a rare chance, I thought I'd just go for it... well, I might’ve gotten a little carried away."

“At least try to show consideration for me too.” I muttered, sipping my cold tea.

Yuzu just shrugged as if she hadn’t heard me at all.

“What’re you talking about? Your greatest strength is being someone I can let loose around, y’know? The thing is, ‘cause you’re naturally socially awkward and all, even if I got you in a slightly bad mood, your attitude around me wouldn’t really change. That’s, you know, a great quality to have.”

“So, what I’m hearing is there’s no point in being considerate towards me because even if I disliked you, it’s not like it’d affect you anyways?”

“Well, basically,” Yuzu replied forthrightly, confirming my suspicions. This girl was really infuriating. “…Hmph, forget it. Not like I wanted Your Highness to be ‘considering my feelings’ at this point anyways^[4].”

It’s because we both could care less about each other—that was precisely why our fake relationship worked as well as it did from the start, as well as the reason it’s still continuing to function.

As I came to that understanding, Yuzu, for whatever reason, started happily poking at my cheek, seemingly amused. 

“See? That’s exactly what I mean! I could never say this kind of stuff to my other friends. But with you, it’s just so easy to be with. If you were clothing, you’d be like a tracksuit, y’know?” 

“A comfy but styleless option, huh?” The kind of thing that’s fine for a quick run to the convenience store but somewhat embarrassing to wear out in public with strangers watching.

Though, strangely enough, she basically nailed it; that summed up my position pretty well. I might have just pioneered a whole new genre as a “tracksuit-type guy.”

“Well, whatever. Anyways, are you feeling better now? The day might feel long, but it goes by fast, so we’ve gotta hit as many spots as we can!”

With that, Yuzu sprang up from the bench, her eyes bright with childish excitement as she leaned close to my face. With her looking at me like that, I couldn’t afford to keep relaxing.

“Alright!” Screwing the cap on to the plastic water bottle, I stood up next to her and pointed to a nearby attraction. “Next up is the haunted house!”

As I announced that, however, Yuzu’s face stiffened. “Err… yeah, don’t you want to skip that one?”

Yuzu’s attitude seemed somewhat evasive. Puzzled, I tilted my head. 

“Why not? It’s a classic date attraction, and plus, avoiding it would be weird, wouldn’t it? We’re already pretty irregular for a couple, so we should hit all the traditional spots,” I responded.

With my logic being completely flawless, Yuzu’s eyes darted around as if she were struggling to refute me. She let out a small groan. 

“No, well, I mean… yeah, that’s true, but… you know, haunted houses don’t look great from the outside, and you can’t really take pictures inside, so it feels pointless to go.” 

“It’s not like we’re going to post it on social media or anything, so we don’t need to worry about appearances. We just need to show Kotani proof we enjoyed the date, right?”

The more I thought about it, the more it made less sense to avoid the haunted house. Yet, Yuzu was somehow still resisting. It was puzzling.

“Uh… well, yeah, I guess. But, you know, time is limited, so it’s better to prioritize spots that are more fun, right?”

“Oi, oi. Isn’t it a bit too late for someone who rode a roller coaster six times to be worrying about time? I don’t care what you say, we’re definitely going in that haunted house,” I declared with a smile.

“No, well, I mean… err…”

Yuzu’s suspicious behavior seemed to become even more pronounced. Nope, this was definitely too strange.

“Y’know, ever since I was a kid, I’ve always loved haunted houses—so how about we go in six times while we’re at it for some more photos?” Saying this, I grabbed Yuzu’s arm and forcibly pulled her along.

“Sorry! I’m really sorry! I apologize for the roller coaster thing! I’m pretty sure you’ve already figured it out by now, but I’ll say it anyway! I can’t do horror! No can do! Please, if we absolutely have to, at least make it only once!”

“Ahaha, what’re you saying? The perfect Yuzu-chan, who’s cute, gets good grades, is athletic, and has a lot of friends—she can’t possibly have something she’s not good at, right?”

What a strange thing to say, my dear girlfriend.

“Noooooo! Saveeee meeeee!” 

Yuzu’s screams were, however, drowned out amidst the lively noises of the amusement parks.

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

—A few hours later.

After enduring a war-like amusement park experience where we kept pushing each other to ride the attraction the other dreaded, we finally agreed to a ceasefire in the evening and decided to ride the Ferris wheel, which neither of us disliked. 

“…I’m tired.”

“…Yeah.”

In a private area where no one was watching, we sat across from each other—something that would normally be considered a setup for a “bittersweet” moment of youth. However, there was absolutely no trace of romantic tension between us; only a tremendous sense of lethargy and fatigue filled the air. 

“Hey, Yuzu. I’ve realized something.”

“…What is it?” Yuzu, still leaning against the backrest, responded tiredly. 

To her, I revealed the shocking truth that I had come to discover throughout our experience of the date.

“Aren’t we… terrible at dating?” 

“…True. I mean, we’re just bad at all the things that couples usually do.”

It was now—only now—that we had become aware of this fatal flaw.

Indeed, there was that sense of discomfort that the combination of a socialite and an introvert exuded, and yes, we seemed very unnatural since we shared no common ground between each other; but, to begin with, it was just that we were too terrible at behaving like a couple.

Maybe, perhaps, we just weren’t cut out for romance.

“Yuzu,” I called her name again.

This time, she adjusted her posture slightly more than before. “What?”

“Was it really okay for you to spend the whole day with me? If it was just to take pictures, we could’ve finished that in the morning, and you could’ve gone out with your friends in the afternoon.”

“What brought this on all of a sudden?” Yuzu seemed a bit perplexed by the topic I had brought up. 

However, it was something that had been on my mind for a while now.

“Well, we’re not a real couple or anything, and it’s not like you actually want to be with me. Besides, your value… or, I mean, how other people evaluate you—it’s already taken a hit because of my bad reputation. So, I thought it might be better for you to prioritize your own friendships.”

“…Hmm.” Yuzu gazed intently into my eyes, as if trying to gauge my thoughts. Feeling uncomfortable, I averted my gaze.

As if she had come to a sort of understanding however, she nodded slightly. “What, Yamato-kun? Did someone say something to you about you going out with me?”

“No, it’s not that… And it’s not like I have anyone to talk about stuff like that with.”

“Then, you overheard someone saying something. Like, ‘you and I don’t suit each other,’ right?”

I was left speechless, overwhelmed by Yuzu’s ability to reach the truth in just a few words.

Apparently, my silence served as confirmation, because Yuzu’s face lit up with understanding and, for some reason, she laughed teasingly.  

“Really, it’s cute how you take gossip so seriously, Yamato-kun. You’re so pure.”

“Shut up.” I turned my face to the window, embarrassed.

“No need to be so shy. There, there, it must’ve been tough~. C’mon, come here. Big Sis will pat you on the head.”

 “We’re classmates, y’know.” I glared at Yuzu, who was beckoning me over in a playful manner. She was infuriating.

Then, as if she was restraining herself, Yuzu toned her energy down a little and carefully weaved her next set of words. 

“Yamato-kun. The thing we call friendship—do you know what it’s made of?”

“No idea. Haven’t had much of it in a while, unfortunately.”

If I understood that, maybe I’d actually be better at dealing with my relationships. Well, as for whether I’d enjoy them or not; that was a different matter.

“I’ll tell you what, Yamato-kun. Friendship, you see—is built on the sense of being an accomplice and sharing the same common values with the other party.”

Her unexpectedly dark answer caught me a little off guard. I found myself unintentionally staring at Yuzu’s face; she, however, did not appear to be joking as she calmly continued her words.

“People, you know, gain trust in each other by exposing their ugly sides. ‘If they’re going to show me this much of their bad side, there’s no way they’d betray me. Now that I know their weaknesses, they can’t turn their back on me.’ By thinking like that, both sides can establish trust with the other party.”

“….”

Yuzu’s words were something I hadn’t thought about before, yet, strangely enough, they had a certain persuasiveness to them.

“Talking behind other people’s backs works the same way. By sharing a mutual dislike for the same person, they share the same values. They say, ‘I’m someone who hates the same person as you. We’re accomplices.’”

Coming from Yuzu, who’s usually cheerful, considerate, and popular—her words felt heavy.

“So, Yamato-kun, that time, they only said all that because they were using you as a subject to criticize—in order to become accomplices. Well, maybe there were a few who genuinely dislike you too,” she said in a joking tone, then gave me a gentle smile as if to comfort me. “The people surrounding them who just nod along do so as a means of communication. I mean, it’s still scary ‘cause the more they talk, the more they might actually convince themselves that they dislike you. But either way, it’s not worth taking so seriously.” 

Yuzu’s words were dark, heavy, and revealed an unsightly sticky truth—yet, strangely enough, my heart felt lighter.

“…You understand all that and still try so hard to maintain your relationships? You’re a pretty weird one,” I said in a tone a little brighter than before. 

Yuzu, as usual, puffed out her chest proudly.

“Of course. The trick to keeping relationships going is not expecting perfection from others. After all, there are hardly any people out in the world as perfect as me. If you got fed up with people’s imperfections every time, there’d be no end to it.”

“You’ve got a big heart, you know that?” I said frankly, genuinely impressed. 

She looked even more pleased with herself, my praise perhaps having gotten to her head. 

“Hehe, naturally. Otherwise, there’s no way I’d be the girlfriend of a loner like you. Today’s date barely scored ten out of a hundred, by the way. You lost ten points each time we went through the haunted house. You should regret it.”

“Huh, so I still have ten points left? Well, might as well make it a perfect zero by going through the haunted house one more time.”

“Right, with that last comment you’ve beautifully hit zero points! Therefore, we never have to go in there again! The end!”

Exchanging glares as tension sparkled between us, we both burst out laughing at how ridiculous it all was.

“Haha! This is the worst date I’ve ever been on! You’re a terrible escort, Yamato-kun!”

“Ugh… haha! It’s because a certain someone got all excited on the roller coaster that caused it! God, I never thought taking pictures would turn out to be such a hassle!”

Yuzu clapped her hands as if remembering something. She pulled her smartphone out of her bag. “Speaking of which, we should take a picture on the Ferris Wheel too.”

“Ah, I forgot about that.” Well, it was more natural to take photos from within the wheel’s cabin anyways, so it wasn’t a problem. 

Yuzu stood up and carefully moved next to me, watching her step as she moved across the slightly shaky footing. Then, positioning her smartphone so both of us would fit in the frame, she moved to pose for a selfie. 

“Okay, I’m gonna take it~”

“Got it.”

Our arms naturally intertwined.

I was really nervous at first, but, spending the day together, we seemed to have gotten used to it—there was no longer any awkwardness left between us.

And so, in that single, brief moment, it felt as if we had become a real couple. I smiled at the phone, capturing the joy of that feeling solely within my heart as the shutter clicked^[5].

⛧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───⛧

The following day, Monday.

On the way back from changing classes, I stumbled across Yuzu and Kotani looking at something on her phone together in the hallway.

“Huh… they have an attraction like that? Oh, is that a photo of you? Are you… teary-eyed?”

“Th-that was right after the haunted house.”

From a slight distance, I observed the two of them as they strolled leisurely down the hallway, lagging behind the crowd of students heading back to the classroom.

“So, guess what? I still have a few extra tickets, so I thought I’d give them to you. I’m sure it’d be fun if you went with Souta!”

“H-huh? Where’d that come from?” Kotani was visibly flustered.

However, Yuzu vigorously pressed forward, forcibly pushing the tickets into her friend’s hand. “It’s fine! Be brave! You’ve hung out together with everyone plenty of times, so just the two of you shouldn’t be a big deal!”

“Uh… b-but…” Kotani squirmed nervously. It was somewhat refreshing, and honestly, pretty cute. “Souta’s days off from club activities are limited, so you gotta be brave! Okay?” Yuzu said in a gentle voice, encouragingly. 

Seeming to gather her resolve from those words, with a slightly flushed face, Kotani nodded shyly.

“O-Okay. I’ll try my best. Thanks, Yuzu.” 

“Alright, no time like the present! You should head over to Sōta right now!”

“Y-yeah.”

With a light push from Yuzu on her back, Kotani jogged off towards the classroom, tightly clutching the ticket in her hands.

“Phew… I managed to hand it over. But, will it really work out, you think?” 

Then, Yuzu suddenly turned around and faced me. I thought I’d been keeping quiet, but I guess she noticed. 

“Well, it’ll probably be fine,” I said, offering my rather optimistic view. 

Yuzu tilted her head slightly, looking at me curiously. “Well, what makes you say that?”

“I mean, Kotani was pretty cute earlier. She already looks good appearance-wise, but with a personality like that, I bet most guys’d fall for her.” I nodded my head sagely.

As soon as I said so, however, Yuzu gave me a pointed glare. “…Oh, really? Does that include you, Yamato-kun?”

“Maybe. Sakuraba’s a lucky guy,” I admitted straightforwardly.

“Take that!” Next thing I knew, Yuzu was pinching a sensitive spot on my side.

“Wha!? Wh-what was that all of a sudden?” 

For some reason, Yuzu glared at me intensely, her cheeks puffed out in annoyance.

“What do you mean, ‘what was that all of a sudden?’ Why are you going on and on about another woman's charms in front of your girlfriend like that?! Follow the subtext! There’s an implied subtext!  Right now, I was telling you, ‘(Deny the following) Does that include you, Yamato-kun? (Reassure me here).’ My words have footnotes! You have to properly read the mood!”

Huh… I thought Yuzu looked anxious, so I was just trying to say something encouraging, purely out of good intention. Well, I can’t deny that I’m at fault for letting my true feelings slip and forgetting my promise to keep up appearances in public.

But still—

“Isn’t understanding a woman’s heart just too difficult?”

“We’re still at Level One! Anyway, let’s start over!” Clearing her throat, Yuzu shot a more piercing look, sharpened by about fifty percent compared to before. “…Oh, really? Does that include you, Yamato-kun?”

Ah, she really meant start over.

“I have the cutest girlfriend in the world, so I’m not interested in other girls,” I recited with a monotone voice, as if it was the sample answer written in a textbook. 

Yuzu, apparently satisfied with that, nodded as her mood lightened. “Alright, pass! There aren’t any remedial exams, so be careful from now on!”

“Yes, sensei.”

Although bewildered by the suddenly started course on the woman’s heart, I walked back to the classroom with Yuzu.

Translator's Notes:

[1]: I’m not entirely sure, but I’d hazard a guess that the author is referring to a GameCube.

[2]: The Japanese term used here is fushigi-chan (不思議ちん). Fushigi is the Japanese word for a strange, mysterious sort of vibe. In this context, we translate it as, “quirky idol persona,” referring to an eccentric sense of airheaded-ness. The best example of a character in fiction with this trope is Luna Lovegood. Blunt, eccentric, unaware of social hierarchy and airheaded—a common character trope in Japanese comedy. Another good example is Tomoe Shinohara, with her eccentric fashion sense and bubbly personality.If you’re interested, here is an article in Japanese.

[3]: The exchange here is really lost in translation, so it was rewritten to make more sense and flow nicer in English. Originally, Yuzu’s question was “How many kidneys are in the human body?” and Yamato answered with “two.” The Japanese word for two is ni (二), which gives the same effect as if you were saying “cheese!” The Japanese also say cheese, so this is more of a nonstandard camera cue than anything. The following question from Yamato was “Wouldn’t something like ‘what’s one plus one’ have been good enough?” As you may have guessed, this was changed to “one plus two,” and the question she asks was changed as well. 

[4]: The phrase used here is gokigen-ukagai (ご機嫌伺) which is an extremely formal word, used sarcastically in this context here. The dictionary English translation for the phrase is “courtesy call,” but its usage infers a hierarchy between the subjects in context. Generally, the person carrying out the “courtesy call” is the superior attempting to form an amicable relationship with someone in a lower position than them by checking in on their feelings and thoughts. Yuzu is saying that Yamato must consider himself superior to her to be trying to understand why she does things. Sarcastically, of course. 

[5]: So, me and Crizy over at Fungus Translations discussed this specific sentence for a good like forty minutes, and there’s a lot of double meanings the author hid within it. Some of those double meanings are a bit hard to express in English, and particularly the part about “the joy of the feeling.” The word used is himeru (秘める) which generally means to “hide” or “keep something to oneself.” In this context, it has the sort of poetic sense of “keeping that feeling solely within his heart.” However, it’s also phrased so the camera shutter captures not only his smile but also that feeling—therefore how I have it translated in the final version.TLDR; if you haven’t figured it out already, it’s more or less saying that Yamato’s hiding the joy of feeling like a real couple. Kind of implying feelings for Yuzu.