Morning came, heralding the dawn of the day after that shocking confession. I'd barely managed to catch a wink of sleep the night before, so by the time afternoon rolled around, I was pretty much running on fumes. Feeling dead inside, I stood idly in the printing room, blankly watching the copy machine spit page after page of our club magazine.

…Yesterday, Tiara-san—she was completely serious, huh.

Why hadn't I just answered her right away? It wasn't complicated. All I had to do was say one tiny word—'yes'—and I would’ve had a girlfriend. Just like that. A girlfriend. The very concept I'd always assumed existed only in 2D had practically stepped out of my screen and into reality, and I hadn't said 'yes.'

I honestly wish she'd just ignored my pathetic hesitation and pushed a little harder…

"N-Nukumizu. The copier stopped."

Komari's voice yanked me out of my thoughts. Neatly tapping a stack of freshly printed pages against the table to align them, she shot me a worried look.

"A-Are you okay? Y-Your eyes look even more dead than usual."

"Ah… you were here, Komari."

"G-Go die."

I guess I couldn't blame her for the insult. We were currently stuck in the printing room after school, tasked with printing the newest issue of the Literature Club magazine.

I let out a long, heavy sigh and stared up at the ceiling.

"…Hey, Komari."

"W-What?"

"Have you ever… been in love?"

Rustle rustle rustle crash.

Komari dropped the entire stack of papers she was holding, sending the pages scattering all across the floor.

"What’s wrong? You tired too?"

"G-Go die! Right now! On the spot!"

Why was she so mad? I didn't even do anything.

As I crouched down to gather the scattered pages, Komari knelt beside me and reached for them too.

"U-Uh, Nukumizu. Y-Yanami’s story… the pages are in the wrong order."

Huh, she was right. The very last page—the one with the punchline and everything—was sitting right at the front instead.

"I mean, we could just say it’s a stylistic choice—"

"S-Shut up. We’re redoing it."

"…Okay."

Looks like Yanami’s novel was moving into a new arc. Likewise, my own high school life had also been about to move into its next stage—right up until I slammed on the brakes and threw myself through the windshield.

"Come to think of it, Komari, you didn’t write anything this time either. Writer’s block?"

"Eek?!" For some reason, she flinched.

Aha. So she is writing BL. It must be the kind that there was no way she could show anyone. I smiled gently and handed her the gathered papers. "Yeah, I get it. You’ve been busy. I completely understand."

"W-What’s with you? You’re creeping me out." Even her attempts to hide her embarrassment with insults seemed kind of cute to me now. After all, I was a man who had come within inches of acquiring a girlfriend. Mere inches.

But seriously… Why didn’t I just say yes right away?

As I mulled it over, Komari eyed me with deep suspicion. "Y-You’re definitely acting weird today. A-Are you sure you’re okay?"

"I’m fine. I mean, in a way, I guess you could say… I'm not exactly the same guy I was before."

Komari let out an exasperated sigh and pointed sharply at the door of the printing room.

"I-I’ll handle the rest. Y-You go wait in the clubroom."

"Ah, okay."

No room for debate. Faced with her ruthless dismissal, I meekly nodded and shuffled out.

◇

Literature Club Activity Report - ‘Good Morning to You’

By Yanami Anna

The renovations on the convenience store I visited every morning were finally finished. It took forever.

I sit on the bench in front of the building and open the bag of my discounted curry bread. The seasons have changed, and summer is soon. Even still, I had no particular plans.

As I let out a sentimental sigh, XX-kun stood on the opposite side of the bench.

"Ako^[1]-san, the construction here's finally done," he said, looking up at the store's sign.

Even though I ignore him and keep eating my bread, XX-kun doesn't give up and tries to keep talking to me. "Didn't you say you were really looking forward to when they finished?"

Yes, I did say that. And so what?

When I continue to ignore him, XX-kun gazes back up at the building's sign.

"So, what exactly were you looking forward to?"

What a thoroughly unpleasant man. No wonder he has no friends.

I think he should stop acting so familiar with girls when he doesn't even have any friends to begin with.

With the curry bread still in my mouth, I look up at the sign too.

The sign proudly exclaims, "Laundry Heaven."

Yes. The convenience store I always went to had been renovated… into a laundromat. I had been expecting a new convenience store to open, so I'm very disappointed.

This is definitely XX-kun's fault. I don't know how, but it must be.

"Ako-san, so you like laundromats, huh?"

No, I don't particularly like them. I say that to him, and XX-kun just gives a vague "hmm" in response. He then sits down on the edge of the bench and starts to eat his melon bread.

How insensitive.

Why, you ask? Because lately, I've been avoiding sweets. The reason is a secret.

I look away from XX-kun, and a large sign facing the street catches my eye. Why is there a picture of a tanuki painted on it, I wonder?

When I ask him that, XX-kun gives me an exasperated look.

"That's a raccoon. The markings are completely different."

Yes, I know that much. Obviously raccoons are associated^[2] with laundry. I just woke up, so I had a small slip of the tongue.

Truly, I must be the only person in the world willing to put up with someone who understands a maiden's heart so poorly.

I don't know why he's eating bread here, but he must be lonely. I suppose I don't mind keeping him company for breakfast every now and then.

I finish my curry bread and glance over at XX-kun, but he turns his back to me.

"What? I'm not giving you any."

How rude. Do I look like the kind of girl who covets others' food?

Still, a truly sophisticated man would offer me a bite without me even having to ask.

Good grief. It seems I'll have to keep looking after this childish boy for quite some time longer…

◇

Exiled from the printing room, I made my way down the hallway toward the clubroom. I had to admit—between the sleep deprivation and everything else—it made sense if I was acting a little weird. I mean, not only had I been tossing and turning all night, but at some point a half-asleep Kaju had apparently mistuned her internal navigation system and tried to crawl into my bed, which had led to a whole ordeal. Really, Kaju could be so careless sometimes, confusing my room for hers on her way back from the bathroom.

As I was about to walk past the bulletin board, I hastily skidded to a halt. Pinned to the board was the latest issue of the school newspaper, this specific edition packed with features ranging from the student council election to the sports festival. The front page was, unsurprisingly, dedicated to the student council election, and a massive chunk of it was taken up by a high-resolution photo of the bloody-nosed Tiara-san screaming at the top of her lungs, completely unfazed.

She must've seen this by now, huh…

I read further down the article, and my eye twitched. They were framing the whole incident as a scandal revolving around "Male Student A," the notorious enemy of women. According to the paper, Shikiya-san’s intrusion had been orchestrated by Male Student A, and Ms. A.'s bizarre speech was supposedly payback after she'd been dumped by this same scumbag. They were really painting a picture here. A masterpiece of slander.

Honestly, what an absolute fantasy. Like seriously, the idea that any of the student council members liked me was—

…

…Not incorrect.

Okay, so maybe not all of it was fantasy.

Er, now that I thought about it… if I looked back on everything that happened with that specific context in mind, haven’t I kinda done some pretty terrible things…?

As I mentally arranged through the memories on the shelves of my mind, a specific advertisement in the corner of the newspaper caught my eye.

Exclusive, never-before-seen photos of Yakishio, who recently qualified for the national tournament. Available for a fee.

People making money off that sort of thing felt kinda iffy to me, but it wouldn't be fair to criticize it without at least seeing the product first. Let's see, how do you buy the premium version again…?

I was pointing my camera at the QR code when suddenly—

"Nukkun, whatcha' doing?"

Accompanying her cheerful voice was a sharp, painful slap to my back. Ouch.

"Just reading the school newspaper. What about you, Yakishio? You're not at practice?"

"I'm on a break, so I’m just running around the school building. If I run on the track, coach will yell at me for not resting properly."

Flashing a mischievous grin, Yakishio ruthlessly dug her elbow into my side.

"What?"

"Don’t you have something to say to me?"

…Oh, right. With everything going on, I never actually congratulated her in person.

"Oh—congrats on making it to nationals."

Embarrassed, the words came out sounding much more blunt than I intended. Yakishio pouted in obvious dissatisfaction. "That’s it?"

"Huh? Was I supposed to say something else?"

"I mean, I guess not, but… I made it to nationals in two events! Aren't you lacking a little excitement here, Nukkun? Shouldn't you be all ‘yahoo!’ and give me a big hug?"

Absolutely not. Us introverts spend twenty-four hours a day living in a state of constant, trembling caution.

"The real challenge is still ahead of you anyway. You’re going for the win at nationals too, right?"

"'Course, yeah. Got my eye on the prize." Yakishio flashed me a fierce, competitive grin. "Then—once I actually win, I'll cash in on that hug, okay?"

What kind of deal was that? I was the only one who won here.

As my traitorous brain started imagining hugging Yakishio in her track uniform, she peered at the bulletin board beside me.

"By the way, Nukkun, what were you looking at? The school newspaper?"

"Oh, uh, no, this is—"

Her eyes scanned the article, and her expression steadily grew more and more serious. Having finished, she turned a flat, knowing stare on me.

"Oh, look. It's the enemy of women."

"It's all fiction! Besides, who's to say this 'Male Student A' is even me?"

"It's totally you, Nukkun."

Well, yeah, but also no. It was complicated.

As I scrambled to come up with an explanation, Yakishio's eyes dropped to my phone screen. She peered down at it suspiciously.

"What?"

"…Hey, were you just trying to buy pictures of me?"

Crap. I'd forgotten I still had the camera open. "N-no, it's just, uh, my finger slipped and it accidentally opened the camera and…"

While I stumbled through the most pathetic excuse ever, a wide, predatory grin spread across Yakishio's face. Then she slapped me on the back with all her considerable might. It hurt. A lot.

"Ow?! What was that for?!"

"Knew it, Nukkun, you really are the enemy of women. I’m telling Chiha-chan on you."

"Why Asagumo-san?!" There was zero connection there, but the thought filled me with genuine terror. She's way too scary.

Landing one final bone-rattling slap on my back for good measure, Yakishio spun around on her heel and sprinted off down the hallway.

◇

When I finally returned to the clubroom, I found a truly heartwarming scene unfolding before my eyes.

"Say 'aaaah', Yanami-senpai."

"Aaaah."

Yanami opened her mouth wide, and Shiratama-san expertly tossed a mini chikuwa^[3] into it. I was reminded, quite vividly, of the sea lion show I saw at Takeshima Aquarium. The resemblance was uncanny.

"What are you two doing?" I asked.

Noticing my arrival, Shiratama-san turned to me with a sweet smile.

"My relatives gave me some chikuwa, so I'm sharing. Prez, wanna try? Say 'aaaah.'"

"Thanks, but I'll pass."

For some inexplicable reason, those two had been getting along incredibly well lately. The game-changer, apparently, was when Shiratama-san picked up her dropped rice ball for her. (Not an eraser—guess that was just too mainstream for them.) But I was still plagued by questions: how does someone even end up in that situation, and did Yanami actually… eat it after? Unfortunately, all this remained a mystery.

"How's the printing going, Nukumizu-kun? We're all prepped and ready to go over here," Yanami said, absentmindedly clicking her staple in the air. She and Shiratama-san handled the bookbinding, while me and Komari did the printing.

"Should be done soon. For the record, I got fired, though."

"Aah…" the two harmonized in sympathy. Apparently, my uselessness today was universally recognized.

Well, if that was how it was going to be, I might as well live up to my title as the enemy of women. I'm just gonna sit back, relax, and let the girls do all the work.

I slumped into my chair and stared blankly at the wall for a little until a sharp knock sounded at the door, breaking the silence. Yanami casually replied "come iiin~," and the door creaked open.

"Excuse me. Is Nukumizu-san here?"

It was Tiara-san.

Given everything that, you know, happened yesterday, I couldn't help but jump out of my seat in surprise. Her face softened into a relieved smile at my reaction.

"O-oh, uh, what brings you all the way to the clubroom?" I stammered.

"I came to deliver what I promised you. I completely forgot to hand it over yesterday."

What she promised me?

Before I could ask, Tiara-san held out an adorable little paper bag. Peeking inside, my eyes landed on a whole collection of promotional display stands.

"Can I really have these? Seriously?"

"Of course. We had a promise, didn't we?"

I mean, we had, but this might've been the first time since enrolling here that my suffering had actually been rewarded so straightforwardly. You can't blame me for being shocked. And holy moly, these were the super rare ones from before the first season even aired!

As I was busy grinning like an idiot over my merch, Tiara-san peered at my face. "Are you going to stay late today, Nukumizu-san?"

"Uh, probably for a little while, yeah. We're finishing up the club magazine."

"Oh, what a shame. My student council duties ended early, so I was hoping we could walk home together."

"Huh? With… me?"

Click. Yanami snapped her stapler shut hard. "…The election's already over, isn't it? Why would you two walk home together?"

"There's no particular reason. We're friends, so I just thought that it would be nice to walk home together every now and then," Tiara-san replied casually. She turned to Shiratama-san. "Since Nukumizu-san's busy, may I borrow Shiratama-san instead? Do you mind, Shiratama-san?"

"Not at all. I can spare a little bit of time," Shiratama-san replied cheerfully. She shot me a quick glance before standing up.

Wait. Why would Tiara-san take Shiratama-san?

Seeing my baffled expression, Shiratama-san gave me a cute, playful wink. "Prez. I've decided to join the student council."

"Huh?"

Wait, was the student council even allowed to recruit criminals?

Actually, considering the previous president was essentially her accomplice, I guess their background checks were pretty lax. I nodded to myself in understanding.

"I was the one who asked her to join," Tiara-san said, giving me a small bow. "I'll make sure to schedule her duties so they don't interfere with the Literature Club, of course."

Nah, honestly, this was a huge help. Managing this walking time bomb of a girl on my own was asking too much of any mere mortal. "We'll be just fine on our end. Take care of Shiratama-san for me, Basori-san."

She began to leave, but halfway out the door she glanced back over her shoulder with a teasing smile. "Oh? So you're not calling me by my first name today?"

"I mean… I thought you hated it when I called you by your first name," I answered honestly.

She just gave me a bright, radiant smile.

"Since it's you, Nukumizu-san… I wouldn't mind if you used my first name."

No. Way. Did I just… get her official permission to call her Tiara?

I froze in shock, completely stunned. I heard her softly giggling as she left the clubroom with Shiratama-san, and when the door clicked shut, I collapsed heavily into my chair.

I survived for today, but… things are only gonna get more complicated from here on out…

"…Staaaaare."

Yanami was glaring daggers at me while literally vocalizing the sound effect. What's her deal?

"What, got something to say?"

"What was that just now? Were you and Basori-san like that?"

"Like what…? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You always call me Yanami-san, but you're gonna call Basori-san by her first name? Woooow. Okay."

Oh, so that's the angle she's playing at. I see, I see…

Resting my elbows on the table, I clasped my hands together and formed a triangle with my fingers, bringing my hand to conceal the lower half of my face.

"Now, listen here, Yanami-san. It's true that, through the ordeal that was our election, Basori-san and I have developed a certain degree of mutual understanding. However, me establishing a connection with the new Student Council president will only serve to strengthen the Literature Club's standing in the future. And doing so aligns with our own goals, does it not?"

Despite my flawless, entirely logical explanation, Yanami merely scowled and tossed another mini chikuwa into her mouth.

"The student council election is a sacred process meant to choose the representatives of the student body, you know? Using the campaign as an excuse to get friendly with a girl… don’t you think that's a little impure of you?"

"If you're gonna say that, then what about you?" I retorted impulsively.

"Huh? What about me?" Yanami frowned.

"Yanami-san, you were basically glued to Sakurai-kun's side the whole election. You know he's super popular with girls, right? Honestly, it kinda doesn't look great."

"Sakurai-kun? He was so busy with student council work, we barely spent any time toge—" She cut herself off, eyes widening as if she'd suddenly realized something.

"Yanami-san, what’s wrong?"

She ignored my question. Instead, she slowly rose to her feet, walked over, and plopped down in the chair right next to me.

…Uh, what? This is kinda scary.

I flinched away, and Yanami leaned in further, with amusement laced in her voice.

"Nukumizu-kun—you're totally jealous, aren't you?"

…Huh? Jealous? Me?

What the heck is she talking about?! I frantically shook my head in denial. "No, you've got it all wrong. I just thought it would suck if people started spreading weird rumors about Sakurai-kun."

"…Why are you bringing up Sakurai-kun right now?" All traces of amusement vanished from her face, replaced with a glare.

"What do you mean 'why'? That's what I’ve been talking about from the start."

"No it wasn't! We were talking about you being jealous because I've been getting along so well with Sakurai-kun!"

That's literally the same thing. Okay, so maybe I just need to rephrase it? "Look, what I'm saying is: if any weird rumors about you and him started going around, Yanami-san, I'd feel really bad for Sakurai-kun—"

"Excuse me?! What's so 'weird' about it?!"

Everything was incredibly weird about it, Yanami-san. I knew it, there's no way I could entrust my precious Sakurai-kun to this girl…

Letting out a massive, exasperated sigh, Yanami shoved her hand into the bag of mini chikuwa. "That's exactly the problem with you, Nukumizu-kun… Here, try one. They're really good," she said, holding out a mini chikuwa right up to my mouth. Acting on instinct, I took a bite, and the savory flavor of the fish cake bloomed across my tongue.

"Oh, there's ginger in this."

"Pretty good, right? I've been totally addicted to these lately."

Suddenly in a much better mood, Yanami happily popped the last piece into her mouth. As I absentmindedly watched her chew, I pondered her earlier words.

…So I look jealous.

Okay. Sakurai-kun was one of my few male friends, so honestly, seeing him get along so well with Yanami did make me feel a little left out. When you look at it that way, I guess calling it jealousy wasn't totally wrong. Because the girl Sakurai-kun was hanging out with was my friend Yanami, that sense of feeling left out just stung a little more.

Satisfied with that completely logical explanation for my own feelings, I let out a mental sigh of relief.

Yanami, having finished with her snack, began twirling a lock of hair around her finger. "Anyway. What was Basori-san's prompt for the scavenger hunt?"

"Why do you care about that?"

"Maybe because Basori-san literally grabbed a boy's hand in front of the entire school and dragged him across the finish line? The school newspaper was making a huge deal out of it, too! If you two don't explain yourselves, people are gonna get the wrong idea."

Well… it wouldn't exactly be the wrong idea. After all, the prompt Tiara-san had drawn was:

The person you like.

Out of all the vulgar, sensational gossip the newspaper had printed, they had managed to hit the nail on the head with that one out of everything.

"Nah, if I go and deny it, they're just gonna keep pushing it and it'll drag things out. The best move here's to ignore it and let it die."

There. Perfectly reasonable. That should convince her.

"Yeah, I guess. So, what was the prompt?"

…

Nope. She was not convinced whatsoever. Her glare was starting to look a little terrifying too—I needed to come up with a lie, fast.

"A friend!" I blurted out. "Yeah, the prompt was 'a male friend'!"

"Huh… What a weirdly specific prompt. A prompt that anyone could've drawn, and it just happened to be 'a male friend,' huh?" Yanami muttered to herself. Resting her cheek on her hand, she leveled a deeply skeptical stare at me.

"Y-yeah, exactly…"

"Well, whatever. I successfully planted Shiratama-chan in the student council anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Now, I wonder?" Deflecting my question with a highly theatrical tone, Yanami leapt up from her chair and strolled over to the window. Her back turned to me, I could no longer see her expression.

Back when Tiara-san confessed to me on the bridge… honestly, I had been confused. Not by the confession itself, but by my own hesitation in giving her an answer.

And—more than anything—by the silhouette of the person who flickered across my mind the very moment I tried to say 'yes.'

The meaning behind it, and my own feelings… I still couldn't figure it out. I mean, it'd only been a single night after all. I wonder—how many nights had Tiara-san spent before deciding to tell me how she felt?

Yanami drew the curtains over the window.

"It's starting to get dark out," Yanami murmured.

Her expression was an inscrutable mix of displeasure, exasperation, and some other, entirely unreadable emotion. She gazed at me in total silence.

"What? Why're you staring at me like that?"

An awkward silence settled over the room.

Just as I lost my patience and opened my mouth to speak, Yanami suddenly—smiled.

"Y'know, Nukumizu-kun… you really are the enemy of women, huh."

Translator Notes

1. In Japanese, A-ko (A子) is a standard placeholder name used for an anonymous female, similar to "Person A" or "Jane Doe" in English. Most of you will already know this, but it refers to Anna in this context. ↑

2. The Japanese word for racoon is araiguma (アライグマ), which literally translates to "washing bear" (arai = wash, kuma/guma=bear). Because of this name, raccoons are a standard mascot for laundromats in Japan. ↑

3. Chikuwa (ちくわ) - A popular Japanese fish cake made from surimi (fish paste), salt, sugar, and egg white. The paste is wrapped around a bamboo and grilled or steamed into a tube-like shape. The ones mentioned here are specifically bite-sized versions. It is also a regional specialty of Toyohashi, apparently. See here for more info. ↑